My Ex Wants To Stay Friends: Good Or Bad Idea When Still In Love After A Breakup (2023)


My Ex Wants To Stay Friends: Good Or Bad Idea When Still In Love After A Breakup

Staying friends with an ex after a breakup can be a good or a bad idea. As a relationship coach who specializes in helping people get back together, I understand how difficult it can be.
Being around the person you love but not in an intimate way can be excruciating, and at losing them all together can be just as painful.

That's why I felt that it was necessary to do a video on this topic and to shed some light on the pros and cons of being friends with an ex.

You can't imagine how many times I've heard: " my ex wans to stay friends " and how often people have reacted one way only to later regret it.

You need to make a sound decision and understand the implications of that choice, especially if you are hoping to get back together and that's where we come in!

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My ex wants to stay friends.

What should I do? Hello and welcome to my youtube channel? My name is coach Adrienne and I am a relationship expert I strive to help individuals all over the world, find happiness and love.

And today I wanted to talk about staying friends with an ex is it.

A good idea? Is it a bad idea? When should you stay friends with her next? Because this is a question that has bothered so many people just coming out of a coaching session.

And someone asked me if they should stay friends with their ex so I figured that it would be beneficial to a lot of people throughout the world.

So first and foremost, I want to make sure that I address one key element, the fear of being friend-zoned.

The fear of being just friends with an ex is something that is oftentimes overplayed.

Of course, you don't want to be friends with your ex.

Of course, it's painful to know that you can talk to them.

You can be around them, but you can't be intimate and that they're not yours.

No one wants to just be buddy buddies with their ex.

It goes without saying, but the truth of the matter is that it's a lot harder to be friends with the next.

Then you realize just because you say that, ok, we can be friends, doesn't mean that your feelings go away just because your ex says that they no longer want to be with you and that they'd rather be friends, also, doesn't mean that their feelings have all of a sudden vanished.

Once you've been intimate with someone once you've shared a deep passionate intense relationship.

It is quite often no longer even possible to be friends.

Either you will end up fighting like cats and dogs because you'll be jealous or resentful or you'll end up obviously sleeping together again, or acting leveraging on this deep connection to create something new and that's.

The key staying friends with the Nexus in reality, a wonderful opportunity to have that platform necessary to showcase that you have evolved to RIA tracked them to inspire them and that's.

Why I often tell people? Yes, if you if you can be friends with your ex, and you can control your emotions around them, then sure it's in reality can be a stepping stone towards winning them back.

When is it, not a good idea to be friends with an ex.

It is not a good idea to be friends with an ex right after a breakup, if you can't control your emotions, if you can't control or resist the urge to reach out to them if you're constantly telling them, you love them that you miss them or crying every times you're around each other it's, probably best not to be friends.

You should probably ask for space until you can find your Center again, until you can be yourself again.

And then it becomes a different story.

On the contrary, I, highly recommend staying friends with an ex.

If they are dating someone else, yeah, it's difficult, of course, it's difficult because you have to potentially deal with the fact that they are together and you pot and you potentially have to see that.

But if you've been able to heal and you're far along enough in this process of personal reconstruction and personal development that you can be around them and still be yourself and treat them like you treat your friends, then it becomes a unique opportunity to become the threat to their new relationship.

So the new boyfriend or girlfriend, even if they're the most confident person in the world, even if they're the most tolerant person in the world, ultimately will feel threatened if you maintain a positive relationship, a good relationship with your ex.

Because at some point, obviously there were feelings there there's a deep connection and the new boyfriend or girlfriend is well aware that we can tap into that in order to create something new.

So if you become the threat to their new relationship, then very often what tends to happen is that the new boyfriend girlfriend becomes insecure and pushes them right back into your lap.

If you're doing the right things.

And so giving you just a couple of examples of when it is a good idea to be friends when you should really try to to get over the hardship quickly to stay friends.

And when it's better to kind of distance yourself and make sure that you take your time and not try to rush or force the issue.

Ultimately it.

The decision is yours and it's what you can bear with what you can deal with if you feel like it's too difficult, and that you're gonna be in tremendous pain being around them.

And that it's gonna impede upon your process of personal growth, then don't be friends with them.

Ultimately, you have to protect your psyche.

And if we've done private coaching sessions together I have told you that your mindset, your psyche is your greatest ally.

Your main attribute in this process of getting back with the one you love.

So if being around your ex sends you down a path of negativity and depression, don't do it if you're strong enough to be around them and channel.

Those insecurities then absolutely be friends with your ex.

Absolutely it can only again, like I said, provide you with the platform to Rhian Spier them and to showcase your evolution, how much you've changed.

So hope you have the answer to your questions of whether you should be friends with your ex or not if you still have questions on this topic, leave them below in the comment section I will reply to you personally.

And in the meantime, I urge you to like this video, because it fuels my fire.

If you've been watching my videos, you know that so that I can do and check out my blog, there's gonna be tons of resources there on my website.

I also have numerous audio seminars on how to win him back how to win her back.

We have also a couple of ebooks from Alex Carmel.

Another coach on this platform with tremendous success.

And ultimately, all of these are resources to help.

You get there to help you continue to frame your game plan and your action plan because it's all about actions to win back the heart of this of the special someone.


So take good care.

See you soon and all the best keep fighting the good fight.


Is it healthy to stay friends with an ex you still love? ›

A friendship with an ex can be highly rewarding, but it's more than OK not to have a relationship or be in contact with them. Accepting the transience of connection and moving forward on your own path will give you much more peace than holding onto a past flame when there is no longer alignment.

Why does my ex want to stay friends after breakup? ›

Your ex might want to be friends if they're trying not to hurt your feelings or they want the breakup to be amicable. They might also want to be friends if they want to get back together with you or hook up with you.

Why would an ex want to stay friends? ›

There are four main reasons, Rebecca Griffith and her colleagues found, why exes feel compelled to maintain a friendship or to suggest doing so: for civility (i.e., I want this breakup to hurt less than it will otherwise), for reasons relating to unresolved romantic desires (I want to see other people but keep you ...

Is it a bad idea to stay friends after a breakup? ›

According to the research, staying friends with an ex for security and practicality is more likely to have positive outcomes. When you've known someone intimately, you trust them and rely on them for emotional support and help.

Can you be friends with someone who broke your heart? ›

Heartbreak isn't limited to just romantic relationships, nor is it any less valid if the heartbreak comes from a platonic source. Yes, our friends can break our hearts—we tend to trust our friends with our vulnerabilities, and when they walk away it leaves a hole in our heart where they used to be.

Is being friends with an ex a red flag? ›

They're friends with their ex

Feeling threatened by an ex is a normal feeling — but it's not a red flag. Maybe they were friends before they started dating. Perhaps they value each other's opinions or words of advice. Or maybe they dated so long ago that every ounce of romantic connection has simply disappeared.

Can you stay friends with someone you love? ›

Staying friends with someone after developing real romantic feelings for them can be hard. However, many people have successfully remained friends after unrequited love confessions. Although it's common for two people not to be able to get past potential awkwardness, it can still be possible for some.

Can exes be friends without feelings? ›

Final thoughts. Being friends with an ex can work for some people. If both ex-partners want a platonic friendship, can impose sensible boundaries, and are willing to wait for emotional healing to take place, it's possible to remain friends with an ex.

How often do people stay friends after a breakup? ›

A new survey has found that the majority of respondents (69%) have stayed friends with their ex after a breakup. Those aged between 45 and 54 were the most likely age group to keep their ex close, with three-quarters (74%) admitting that they had at least attempted to stay friends with an ex following a breakup.

What to do when your ex just wants to be friends? ›

What To Do When Your Ex Wants To Be Friends
  1. Whatever You Do, Don't Panic. ...
  2. Think About If You Want That Person Back In Your Life & Why. ...
  3. Take Note Of Any Current Relationships. ...
  4. Respect The Ex's Boundaries. ...
  5. Don't Try To Revisit Old Habits. ...
  6. Remember That It's OK to Say No.
Oct 23, 2015

Is my ex keeping me as an option? ›

You can tell a lot about your ex just by looking at their phone messages or texts — if they even bother to reply to your messages at all. If your ex doesn't even bother to text or call you back anymore, then that's a very good sign that they are using you as a backburner option.

Should I block my ex who wants to be friends? ›

Most definitely, yes! Especially if your ex wants to be friends even after you have told them that you don't want to. If they keep messaging you on your social media, block them right away. That way they will not be able to contact you in any way whatsoever and will not be able to keep tabs on your life.

Why does he want to be friends after breaking up with me? ›

What does it mean when your ex wants to be friends? It may mean they are not over the relationship yet or regret the decision to break up with you. They may also want to be friends because they want to be on good terms with you post-breakup or may need something from you.

Can exes get back together? ›

A recent study showed that 44% of Americans have gotten back together with one of their exes after breaking up with them. However, of these couples, it's less clear whether they were able to build and stay in healthy, loving relationships in the long run.

Does my ex miss me even though we don't talk? ›

It's unlikely that an ex will forget about you, even if you don't communicate with them after the breakup. Relationships tend to make an large emotional impact on both people involved, so it's likely your ex will remember you and the relationship even after the breakup.

Can you love again after a broken heart? ›

It is possible to find love after heartbreak, to find joy with another if you give yourself time to reflect on what happened and to resolve your feelings about the past before moving on.

How do you know if someone broke your heart? ›

If your heart is broken, you might feel symptoms common to depression:
  1. Fatigue.
  2. Reduced or increased appetite.
  3. Sleeping too little or too much.
  4. Lack of interest in your usual activities.
  5. Anxiety.
Oct 8, 2022

Is being friends with your ex while in a relationship bad? ›

"Being platonic friends with an ex (after a bit of cooling off time) is completely fine, as long as you respect boundaries, don't force your partner to hang out with your ex and let everyone know there's no chance of reconciliation," says online dating expert Julie Spira.

Should you stay friends with a toxic ex? ›

Under no circumstances should a relationship that was abusive, manipulative or toxic transition into a friendship, Sussman says. But even if your relationship was generally healthy and simply didn't work out, you might want to think twice before becoming pals.

Is it healthy to keep in touch with an ex? ›

If you share a healthy bond and have firm boundaries with your ex, being in touch with them can become a significant part of your social support, since the relationship has a certain level of shared comfort. The key is to know what your expectations and boundaries are with each other.

Can you stay friends after a relationship? ›

Breaking up doesn't always mean you don't have a chance at a friendship. If you are both on the same page and agree, you can remain friends after breaking up. If you need help deciding what is right for you, you might consider getting a professional opinion.

How to accept he doesn t want you? ›

  1. Listen to music that lets you feel your feelings.
  2. Exercise. It helps to clear your mind and you will be healthier.
  3. Write in a diary if you have one.
  4. Write a letter to him if you want. ...
  5. Go on some long walks by yourself. ...
  6. Know when to stop. ...
  7. Consult a therapist if you can't get back into your normal life.

How do you rekindle a relationship with your ex? ›

Here's how to get back with your ex without making a total mess of it.
  1. Consider how you might have changed. ...
  2. Ask yourself if you trust your ex. ...
  3. Make sure the decision is yours. ...
  4. Ask your ex to commit to therapy. ...
  5. Take it slooooow. ...
  6. Figure out your own needs. ...
  7. View it as a new chapter in an old relationship.
Jan 3, 2023

How to get my exs feelings back? ›

If you want to get an ex back who lost feelings for you, you'll have to make sure you're the first type of person for them. Be the kind of person they would gravitate to. This means being pleasant to be around. Be positive, make jokes, smile and spread love around you.

Can exes be friends with benefits? ›

The short answer is, being FWB with an ex is possible, but it isn't easy. "If you have a history with a person, while that may make it easier to get into bed the first time, that history will follow you into the bedroom at some point over time," Joshua Klapow, Ph.

How long does the average breakup last? ›

When looking at the timeline of breakups, many sites refer to a “study” that's actually a consumer poll a market research company conducted on behalf of Yelp. The poll's results suggest it takes an average of about 3.5 months to heal, while recovering after divorce might take closer to 1.5 years, if not longer.

How many breakups does the average person go through? ›

The average American adult has been through three major relationship break-ups and spent more than a year and a half of their lives getting over them, new research reveals.

What to say to an ex who wants to be friends? ›

First, you can say: “I understand that we were together for a while and it is hard to be apart. Right now, being friends with you is not something I'm ready or able to do. I will reach out to you in the future if anything changes.” Another option is to be a little bit more gentle.

How do you tell if your ex isn't over you? ›

Signs to look out for:
  1. They're giving mixed signals.
  2. They blame you for the breakup.
  3. They're angry with you.
  4. They're keeping in touch with you.
  5. They flirt with you.
  6. They're bringing up memories.
  7. You still have some of their things.
  8. They're sabotaging you.
Jun 27, 2021

Is it OK to check if your ex is OK? ›

Grieving and Checking Up On Your Ex

It's normal to grieve the loss of an important relationship. However, it can be detrimental, while you're grieving, to check up on your ex because it can bring back all the negative emotions tied to the relationship and why it ended in the first place.

What is a limbo relationship? ›

'Relationship Limbo' is a mental and/or physical place where there's no progression in your relationship. Living apart for a long time isn't healthy for a relationship (unless you've both agreed it's what you want). You should both share a common goal for the future.

What is the psychology behind blocking someone? ›

The psychology of blocking someone can evoke indignation and a sense of rejection, reminiscent of the social dynamics of high school. Blocking someone sends a clear message, but it's a cowardly move to run away and hide behind our devices.

Why would an ex want to meet up? ›

What does it mean when an ex wants to catch up? If your ex wants to meet up to “catch up,” it's likely that they have felt an emptiness in their life since the break-up and simply wants to meet up to see you, talk with you, be with you.

Why does a narcissist ex want to be friends? ›

What's the most common reason narcissists want to be friends? They know you're still longing for them. Narcissists thrive on being the center of attention. If they know you'll keep coming back, they have no incentive to change their behavior.

How do you set boundaries with an ex who wants to be friends? ›

Learn more about it here.
  1. Don't publish posts about your ex on social media. ...
  2. Don't stalk them online. ...
  3. Respect each other's privacy. ...
  4. Don't compare your previous relationship to your future relationships. ...
  5. Show respect to their new partner. ...
  6. Don't try to bring up the past. ...
  7. Talk about positive and light topics.
Jun 17, 2022

How do you end one sided love? ›

Is there any way to deal with it?
  1. Talk about it… A conversation with the other person about how you feel can seem frightening, but it's often the best way to address the situation. ...
  2. … but don't linger. ...
  3. Feel your feelings… ...
  4. … ...
  5. Find meaning in the experience. ...
  6. Ask yourself what you really want.
Nov 21, 2019

What is unrequited love? ›

Unrequited love occurs when one person yearns for unconditional love from another individual who doesn't feel the same way. This type of love appears more prevalently in people with anxious attachment styles and low defensiveness.

Why is silence powerful after breakup? ›

Staying silent can also help you feel empowered. You're taking charge and showing your ex that you're capable of and willing to live life without them. Whether you're the one who was hurt or the one who ended it, cutting off communication after a breakup puts you in control.

What are the odds of exes getting back together? ›

How many exes get back together. According to much research, about 40 to 50 percent of couples get back together after a breakup. While this is positive, many factors determine the chances of getting back together after a breakup.

How common is it for exes to get back together? ›

Key points. Research finds that 40-50 percent of people have reunited with an ex to start a new relationship. On-again relationships tend to suffer lower relationship quality and worse functioning than never-broken relationships. People often resume relationships with ex-partners because of lingering feelings.

Is it true that you can be friends with your ex? ›

There's a difference between being friends and being friendly. It's OK to stay in touch with an ex without having to force a friendship if it doesn't serve you. While it may be possible to be friends with an ex, whether it's a good idea or not will depend on the situation and the people involved.

How long should you stay friends with an ex? ›

Ideally, you would wait six to 12 months after a breakup before even asking yourself that question. And if there ever was any abuse in the relationship, don't ask it at all — focus on getting distance and moving on. After any breakup, you want to ensure that you put your well-being first.

Should you be friends with ex if you want them back? ›

It's something that you should smile about and take encouragement from if you are wanting to get back together with them. However, it is still important that you politely reject friendship. Don't be cold or mean, but express your lack of interest in being friends and go straight into no contact.

How do you know if someone still loves their ex? ›

Although it is normal to bring up one's ex, frequently mentioning them may be a sign of lingering feelings. If your partner seems to be constantly mentioning their ex, it is likely that they are still on their mind. Even if they are badmouthing their ex, too much talk can indicate that they have not moved on.

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