I called my ex and he didn’t answer — My ex won’t answer my calls or texts.
Are you trying to get back with your ex, but can’t get the opportunity to express yourself because they just won’t call you back?
Do you wish there were words that would “magically” cause your ex to respond when you call? Well, listen to this. There are words that are just as good as “abracadabra” that can cause your ex to feel a yearning to call you back immediately-nearly casting a spell!
You say, “Why won’t he call me back?” or “If she’d only return my call, she’d find out how much I really care.” I hear this sort of thing all the time from my friends…and family, not to mention, I’ve been through it a few times myself. I’m going to let you in on a little secret that worked for me-just ask my husband!
You can find out more in “The Magic of Making Up,” which lays out a more comprehensive strategy; you’ll want to have an overall plan after using this tip to be sure you don’t cause more damage to the relationship, in which case, it would’ve been better that they never returned your call at all.
At any rate, I will give you an answer to the question “How do I get my ex to at least call me back?” Let me first tell you a couple of things you shouldn’t say and why messages like these almost never bear fruit!
1. “Honey, I’ve called over and over again; would you Pl-e-e-ease call me back; I REALLY need to talk to you.”
2. “Baby, as soon as you hear this, make sure to give me a call…it’s urgent!”
Can you see what’s wrong with these types of statements? First of all, they make you seem “psychosomatic” or unstable. Next, the first statement makes you seem desperate, and people don’t respect desperation or neediness, not to mention, you’ve just inflated their ego, and they want to hear you beg.
The second message just flat out says that you’ll say anything to get their attention-they generally know there’s no emergency to tend to; they’ve heard it all before! If there was an emergency, most people just say what it is and don’t leave anything to chance.
Using Self Importance and Curiosity to Your Benefit
Now, are you ready to use your magic wand? Good, here’s your “rabbit” and your “hat”: Self Importance and Curiosity. Self Importance and Curiosity are two of the most effective areas to touch on when trying to get an ex’s attention. When you put the two together, it’s like saying, “TA DA-AH!” Here’s something you can say that knocks out two birds with one stone and almost guarantees a call back, or text, or IM, or whatever.
“Hi, Honey, how are you? I just wanted to call and say thank you; I can’t believe I’d forgotten how thoughtful you really are. Anyway, call me and we’ll talk more. Thanks again.” See! You’ve just created curiosity-he’ll wonder, “what was that about; what did I do?” and also, he’ll be feeling real good about himself for whatever it was-he’ll want to get the credit in a more personal way-he’ll call!
Whatever you do, make sure you’ve figured out what it is they did BEFORE you call. It could be something as small as you recognizing how they’ve helped to make you a better person or something like that.
The bottom line is . . . everything you do before, during, and after they call you back, is key to whether or not you get them back.
Get your plan together first!
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Maybe you already have called your ex 100 times and begged and pleaded and made an idiot out of yourself. You really want to get your ex back and so you’ve been pushing hard. And they aren’t returning your calls. This is hugely frustrating!
How do you get your ex back if they don’t want to talk to you? Well, obviously, just calling them wont work since they wont answer. I always recommend the truth, since you want Real Love. So you can do a few things:
Call them and leave a message saying if they just give you ten minutes, you’ll stop bugging them forever, so could they please call you back. If you sound sincere and make this believable, you can often get them to return your call. This way, if they do want you to stop bugging them, they can consider giving you ten minutes so you will leave them alone.
If that doesn’t seem to work, you can send them a note with the same type of message. What your ex may be looking for by this time is some rest from all the pressure of your calls or messages. It may take a little while, a few days, but you can often get them to talk to you this way. It obviously depends on how emotionally upsetting your splitting up was.
Once you’ve called and left a message or sent a note, give them a day or two to get back to you. And if they don’t call you, and upsetting as it may be, it’s okay. This obviously happens. Each break up is unique as to what caused it and how damaging emotionally it was. Getting your ex back is a process you have to dance with.
You may then need to give it a week of NO CONTACT and then try the above two steps again. Again, your ex has to deal with their own feelings, and you stalking them by phone isn’t allowing them the quiet time to grieve and or begin to let go of what happened.
You don’t have to wait forever (even though it may seem like forever), but a little time and space can do wonders for letting angry emotions dissolve. Its often not what we want to hear, but a week or two of no contact can show that you respect their feelings and needs.
So if your first efforts don’t succeed, some useful relationship advice is to give them a week of No Contact and then try again. A little patience can go a long way towards getting your ex back. If they still won’t talk to you, then there are some other more detailed strategies — like a reconnect letter — to help move things forward.
Don’t risk losing your ex forever, improve your chances to get back together with your ex by using a method so controversial your ex will be unable to resist.
So, that relationship you had is now gone. Now you are left wondering what you are going to do without that special person. Maybe you want them back in your life, but you aren’t sure how to go about it. If you’re wondering how to get my ex back, there are definitely several options to consider. The following are some important methods that can help you to learn how to get your ex back.
Method #1 — Figure Out Why You Broke Up — If you are wanting to know how to get my ex back, one of the best methods for getting them back is to figure out why you broke up anyway. Do you really want your ex back or do you want them because they are no gone? This needs to be considered. Think about the reasons you broke up very carefully. Is this person really good for you or were they bad to you, which led to the breakup. This can help you figure out if you really want them back in your life.
Method #2 — Remember Why They Fell in Love with You — If you decide you want to get my ex back, then you need to remember why that person fell in love with you in the first place. Did they love the way you made them feel or the way you laughed together? Think about this a bit and then consider how you can go back to being the person that they fell in love with.
Method #3 — Casually Start Hanging Out Again — Wait awhile after the breakup, and then casually start hanging out with each other again. You should never push your way into their life, but try to find ways that you can start hanging around each other. Maybe go out for a cup of coffee or a bite of lunch. Just be friends in the beginning and work on building back the friendship first.
Method #4 — Show You Still Care — Want to get my ex back? If so, another method is to show that you still care. No, this doesn’t mean you fall down on your knees and profess your undying love, but you can easily find some simple ways to show them that you care. Remember, your actions are going to say a lot more to them than your words will. So, make the caring show by your own actions.
Method #5 — Pay Attention to the Way You Look — You should also pay attention to the way that you look. When you see them, make sure that you look wonderful. Dress up a bit, make sure your hair looks great. Do everything possible to make sure they see how great you really look. This is yet another method that can really help you to bring your ex back into your life once again. Of course you don’t want to go for a whole makeover and try to be someone you’re not, but just looking great can make a big difference.
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